Culture Shock!
by EE's Skysong
Summary: The Xmen are outcasts in a normal world. What happens when they end up in one full of magic, monarchs, and knights? Xmen EvoTortall crossover. Very mixed up and strange. A tagfic I'm doing with EE Diamond.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Neither I nor Di own anything recognizable here.

(An: My first tag-fic! I feel so special! -waves to Di- I am attempting to keep the humor to a minimum.. but come on, it's me here! Diamond is an author on my main site, EE.)

LIST O' CHARS!

Tortallian residents!

Nealan of Queenscove.

Keladry of Mindelan.

Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau.

Owen

King Jonathan

Queen Thayet

Daine

Numair

Domitan of Mallsbolle

George of Pirate's Swoop

X-men!

Rogue

Remy

Kitty

Kurt

Scott and Jean (eurgh)

Logan

Hank

Sam

Rahne

Ray

TORTALL, AFTER THE SCANRAN WAR

Keladry of Mindelan smiled to herself. Life was good.

Now that the war with Scanra was over, there were no more pesky warlords, killing devices, or thrice-cursed Chambers to deal with.

She was naturally a restless person, but after all that war and stuff, it was nice to be able to relax with Jump and her sparrows in her room.

She was enjoying the peace and quiet and was juuust about to fall asleep when there was a loud thud from outside her window.

"Aww, crap!!" shouted a voice.

Kel blinked. "What in Mithros's name?"

Jump barked and the sparrows began tweeting frantically, tapping at the shutters on her window.

Kel got off her bed and went over to it. The sparrows circled around her head. She opened the window and was suprised at what she saw.

Piled up in the courtyard was a group, a fairly large one. Standing up beside the pile was a girl with brown hair and white stripes that framed her face. She helped the rest of the group up.

Kel frowned. She backed off a bit and looked at her window. Not out of it, at it. If she was careful she might just fit. She backed up. 'This is insane..' she thought as she ran up to it and jumped through.

She landed on the grass. Brushing herself off, Kel approached the group. They didn't seem to notice her.

Jump sat down and whined.

The sparrows swooped down on them. Kel was shocked to see that they passed right through a girl. The sparrows ended up heading for a boy.. who was blue and had a tail. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke and light and appeared by the first girl Kel had seen. The sparrows came back to Kel, bewildered.

Kel blinked. 'I need help,' she thought, and ran off.

She dashed through the hallways, heading for the guest wing. She skidded to a stop, and knocked on the door she was in front of. A short woman answered the door. "Kel, hello. What's the matter?"

Kel took a deep breath. "Lady Alanna there're demons in the courtyard!"

"What?!" asked Alanna, looking shocked.

Kel had already ran off down the corridor. "Follow me!"

Alanna paused for a split-second to blink at the strangeness of the situation, then grabbed her sword and ran after Kel.

Kel and Alanna skidded into the courtyard. The demons?.. people? It was hard to tell. Most of them looked normal, but there was that blue one, and they were dressed strangely... 'Enemy mages?'

"We'll try diplomacy first," whispered Alanna. "They might just be lost."

Kel nodded, but loosened her sword in its sheath. Just in case.

Alanna steps as she approached were slow, cautious, like one would approach a spooked horse. "Hello," she said, her voice soft, soothing.

The group turned to face her. "Oh great. Crazy people with swords," said the blue one. "This just gets better and better." His tail thrashed.

"Kurt, shut up," said the girl with the white stripes. She held up her hands. "Look lady, we don't want any trouble. We're just kind of.. lost."

"Got dat right," muttered a young man standing by her.

"Shut UP swamp rat," hissed the girl, smacking him.

Alanna frowned. This was getting confusing.

The girl took a step forward, still holding her hands up. "Um, excuse us, but where are we?"

"Corus, Tortall, of course," said Alanna, her frown deepening.

"Well, that's a new one," said Rogue.

"How did you get here?" asked Alanna, still in the cautious tone of voice.

The group shrugged. "There was, like, this big flash of light, and then, we were, like, here," said another girl, the one who the sparrows had flown through.

Alanna spoke again. "Who are you people anyway?"

The first girl spoke up. "Ah'm Rogue, this is Remy," she indicated the man she'd smacked, "that's Kitty," she pointed at the second girl, "Kurt," she pointed at the blue boy, who gave a tentative wave, "Rahne," she pointed at a third girl with short red hair, "Ray," she pointed at a glaring boy, "Logan," she pointed at a scowling hairy short man, "Hank," she pointed at another blue man, who was looking fascinated, "Scott," she pointed to a young man wearing glasses of some sort (unless I missed the memo Tortall doesn't have sunglasses), "Jean," she pointed to a red-headed girl, "and Sam," she pointed at a sandy-haired boy.

There was silence for a few minutes as Alanna and Kel looked at each other.

Alanna sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Follow me. I'm definitely going to need Jonathan's help on this one.."

(Forgive me, I beg, if the Tortall chars seem a -tad- OOC. My brain hurts and it's been a while since I read my copies... Oh, and Di, I'll let you handle the rest, I just want to do a cafeteria scene after yours.. we'll work it out later. WARNING! I ship Romy, Rahm, and Kurtty.. just letting you know.. ;) I will follow in Tamora's innuendo-ing footsteps... if Di doesn't smack me for it..)


	2. Di's awesomeness chappy!

(Skysong's note: Oh yes Di I saw that, you naughty Dom-lover you! -shakes head- You are so -slow-! I'm thinkin' some people didn't pay much attention to the char list at the beginning, naughty naughty... Hey Di, can we work Bishop and/or Cable into the sequal? Big, muscly guys with guns investigating temporal disturbances, oh what fun!)

Alanna strode into the throne room, imperiously some would say. But no native Tortallen would say that, it was just the lioness' way. Brushing her ear lobe length copper hair from her eyes she gave a faint grin at Jonathan's astonishment to her companions. They certainly weren't from Tortall or anywhere in the eastern lands.

Sharply a thought buzzed into her head. _They could be spies, from Scanra or Carthak. _She irritably brushed it away like a horsefly, for one it was because of her husbands influence that such thoughts occurred to her now. You didn't stay married to the king's spy -master for so long and it not brush off on you.

She rolled her own violet eyes and looked at Jonathan again, his expression thoughtful as he ran a finger down the coal black beard that contrasted so sharply against his sapphire eyes.

"My Liege King" Alanna said politely to which Keladry politely bowed in the corner where she stood behind the X Men.

"Who are they Sir Alanna?" Jon enquired, his voice slightly sharp as the people looked at each other with confusion.

"Erm not to be rude sir but you do realise zat zat is a fraulein?" The blue haired one enquired politely.

"Excuse me?" Jon asked and leant back in his throne, "Come now Alanna don't leave me in anticipation, I'm just going to _love _this one aren't I?" He said with a sigh and ran a finger down his temple.

"I'm sorry sire" Alanna said impishly then winced when she walked over to stand next to him. "We- well rather Keladry of Mindelan found them in the courtyard outside her rooms and they looked rather suspicious and disorientated so I thought I'd bring them here." _For you to deal with _she added silently as Kel took a step forward.

"Sire I don't think we can quite deal with this ourselves" She braved and then as Alanna winked she grew braver. "I am not doubting your or Lady Alanna's abilities but I think we need Numair"

"D'ya understand any of this?" Rogue murmured in an undertone to Kitty who shook her head strongly.

"Like no! I mean they like seem to be like crazy or something. Maybe we're all in the danger room and it's gone like totally wrong?" Kitty asked hopefully as the Goth shook her head.

"Naw I think that we're in a different world Kit."

"That like totally bites!" Kitty said, earning a glare from the X Men and a puzzled glance from the Tortallian folk.

"Has someone bit someone? Kit?" A young musical voice sounded from the doorway, echoed by shrill whistling and peeping and the occasional murmur.

For in the young woman's hands rested a bundle of cloth- a baby that occasionally reached out a hand to its mother. Looking up, the woman's eyes danced with mirth, the stormy grey irises reflecting her good mood. The mahogany curls fought to escape their pins as she waved, another trill sounding from something next to her.

The x men had never seen anything like it, a small reptilian creature; it's scales blue with tinges of purple and green. Amber eyes of a cat stared out from a small lizard appearing face. It was a dragon.

"Kit, what is it?" The woman enquired as the dragon shrilled again and walked over to Kurt. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's up with her," She murmured as the dragon rose up on her hind legs and whistled shrilly. Kurt's image inducer fell off in a smoking pile as he returned to blue form.

"Right" Jon murmured and put his head in his hands, then returning to his pose as of before. "Introductions seem to be in order, I am Jonathan of Conte, King of the realm of Tortall. You have already met my advisers and knights. Lady Knight Alanna of Olau, Pirateswoop and formerly of Trebond, also known as the Lioness and Kings Champion. And Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan. The young woman who just walked through the door is Verilidaine Sarrasri, Tortall's wild mage. In her arms is her daughter, (A/N I'm making up a name) Sarra and next to her is the dragonette Skysong, otherwise known as Kitten. "The king took a breath and gave a faint smile as the x men looked on astounded.

"Ah doan mean t'be rude your majesty but... ah guess we should introduce ah selves. 'Gain " The X men ran through their names as Jon looked on through bridged fingers.

"It appears we have a temporal disturbance" Daine said thoughtfully and then raised her brows as the Tortallians and the X men looked at her.

"You don't know Numair and then marry him without picking up a few things, where is he Your Majesty? He'll be hopping if he misses this" She smiled at the thought as her daughter began to cry.

"No Sarra" She murmured as Kitty walked over and looked at the child with a smile.

"She is totally cute!" Kitty smiled and waggled a finger in the babies face as it smiled and giggled.

"Thank you, sometimes she can be a little grumpy and want to shape shift but I won't let her" Daine said and shrugged as the baby giggled.

"Shape shift?" Kitty said and gulped. "She- she can shape shift?" She asked and winced as the rest of the company turned to look at her. The x men with disbelief and the Tortallians with barely veiled amusement.

"Well she's not supposed to since her Grandmother told her not to till she was five" Daine said and smiled. "But she keeps wanting to, I can't understand what she thinks but it's pretty obvious that she's bored. She's only two months old but all babies get bored after a while" She smiled again as Kitty shook her head.

"Can I like, hold her?" She asked and then blushed. "If you don't mind."

"Of course, be careful" Daine murmured as Kitty balanced the child in two hands, a broad grin on her face. "She's so sweet" Kitty murmured and as the baby stuck out a hand towards her Kitty proceeded to phase through the hand to which the child giggled.

"How..are you a mage?" Kel asked, stepping forward as Kitty blushed again, "Not really, I'm a mutant."

"We all are" Scott volunteered and then shrugged, his glasses glinting.

"What are-" Alanna began but was cut off by another visitor in the doorway, a tall man stood with quite a tall younger man. The older was in his early thirties, his hair black with kind black eyes.

The younger man had emerald eyes with dark brown hair swept back from a widows peak.

"They're the equivalent to our mages" The elder said and smiled as Daine walked over and hugged him. "Where's Sarra?" He asked her as she grinned and pointed to Kitty who was playing with the infant by phasing through her fingers.

"She seems to get on with Sarri "Daine said, using the nickname they used. "Forgive me for not introducing my husband, Numair Salmalin" Daine said as the Tortallians nodded and smiled as the X Men looked on confused slightly.

"Don't forget Sir Meathead" came Kel's voice, looking at the knight next to her who promptly assumed a players tragic expression and put a hand to his forehead.

"It is my life to be misunderstood" He said and smiled. "I'll introduce myself shall I? I am Nealan Of Queenscove" He bowed and then as some of the female X Men giggled.

"And also married" Kel said cuttingly as Neal smiled. "Yuki's fine Kel thanks for asking."

"I saw her this morning, I didn't need to know" Kel snapped back with another broad smile. "My liege if I may I will take the visitors to the dining hall. We have much to talk about but they must be hungry after their trip?" She asked as the others smiled.

"I'll go with you" Neal said, followed by nods from Alanna, Daine and Numair.

"I'd like to but..." Jon said and sighed. "I have papers to work on."

((DONE! My first chappie done Hewwo sky, can we spot the hidden quote and who it was from?))

Written by Di.. thank her, and my name-inspiration got her debut, w00t!


	3. Humorousness stuff

(SN: I expect you to be faster about it when it's your turn again, Di, got that? It's brutally obvious how different our writing styles are. My god, this is my most popular story.. bloody pathetic. Warning, a humorous chapter approaches!)

Keladry of Mindelan had a growing headache. It wasn't an actual pain, it was more of the kind of thing that foretold a headache.

Right now, she was attempting to explain how the cafeteria worked, and just why everyone was giving them angry stares for coming in late.

Neal wasn't making it any easier with his constant comments, but Dom was keeping him busy.

If it weren't much too indignified, Kel probably would have screamed in frustration.

"What exactly is this stuff?" asked Kitty, prodding her soup. "There's not meat in it, is there?" She sniffed it hesitatingly.

"Of course there's meat!" said Owen cheerfully as he sat down by Kel. "New friends?" he asked, grinning.

"Why can't you all just shut up?" whimpered Kel. "What's wrong with the meat?"

"Kitty's a vegetarian," said the blue boy- Kurt- solemnly.

"And a Jew," she added. "This stuff is definitely NOT kosher." She prodded it again and something twitched in her bowl. "Ew, it just, like, MOVED!"

"Hank seems to be getting along well at least," said Rogue, glancing over at him. He and Numair were having an avid discussion on mutants vs. mages.

"Glad someone's happy," said Remy. He too was casting dubious glances at his soup.

"It's fun having new people, isn't it?" asked Owen, still grinning.

"Urge.. to kill... rising.." muttered Kel.

"Ya got that right, darlin'," muttered the hairy guy, Logan.

" 'Darlin'?" echoed Kel, blinking.

"He calls women that until he can figure out a nickname for them," said Kurt. "For you, it might be... uh, something like 'Scar' or 'Nutso'."

Kel prided herself on her grip on her emotions. But it had been a good long while since she'd been in Yaman, and it showed. And anyway, there was nothing in her Yamani or her warrior training about dimension hoppers. 'I should have smacked them with my sword when I had the chance.'

"Having fun?" asked Lady Alanna, passing by. Who knew that someone with a history like hers could have such an evil grin?

"Save me," Kel begged.

"Oh, I'm looking for someone else to have all the fun today," said Alanna. "George is visiting." She walked off.

Kel began to bang her head against the table.

"So the Lump's finally begun to crack," drawled Neal, finally free from his cousin's clutches. He sat down next to Kel. His grin was eerily like Alanna's. "Never thought I'd see the day. Of course, I never thought I'd see her make so many friends, either." He shrugged. "I suppose I should get used to it though."

Kel shoved him off the bench.

Neal picked himself up, brushing himself off with the most dignity he could muster. Which, in retrospect, wasn't much. He sniffed. "Peasants," he muttered. "You resort to shows of strength since you lack the brains for more insults."

"You're my friend too," replied Kel.

Owen stood over by Neal. In a rare moment of brains, he said, "I think we should go now. Kel's got that killer glint in her eyes."

Neal cocked his head. "Actually, I think that's more of a 'come-too-close-and-I'll-castrate-you" glint."

Owen patted his friend's shoulder. "All the more reason to get moving." They did an about-face and walked off.

Jean was rubbing her temples. "You couldn't exude more hostility, could you?!" she snapped at Kel.

Kel blinked.

"She's a telepath, very touchy about these things," explained Scott with a shrug.

"Yes, mama, I'm enjoying being under the King's service. I get told what to do and get stuck with all the unpleasant jobs," Kel muttered.

"What, you're not enjoying our company?" said Kurt in a tone of mock surprise.

"Come a little bit closer and say that," replied Kel.

Kurt edged a little closer to Kitty.

The three others, Sam, Rahne, and Ray, were looking rather dazed. They were still attempting to wrap their minds around the fact that they'd been included in one of the adventures. Or perhaps they had eaten the soup.

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Kel had finally gotten everyone to finish the soup and they were now trying to sort out the problem of what to do with everyone.

They were all lined up in front of the high table. King Jonathan frowned. "I suppose we could.. no there's not enough room there. Or- no, still not enough room." He rubbed his temples.

"Having problems, sire?" asked Daine sweetly. She had come over to fetch her husband and remind him that, no matter how fascinating Hank was, he still had a class to teach.

"Yes, thank you for noticing and being so supportive," replied Jon, grinding his teeth somewhat.

"You know, that's not good for you," said Scott. "I used to do that in my sleep. Gave me the most terrible toothaches."

Jonathan blinked. "Thank you for the information," he said, looking somewhat dazed.

"We could put them all up in Mithros's Chapel," suggested Thayet. "It's only for a night, after all."

"Good thinking," said Jon, still looking dazed. "That should work."

"Whose what?" asked most of the X-men in unison.

TEN MINUTES LATER, THE CHAPEL

"This doesn't look like the most comfortable place for our repose," commented Hank, looking around at the bare stone floors.

"We don't have anywhere else that's big enough," said Kel with a shrug. "And most of the guest rooms are full up since it's getting close to Midwinter." She looked over at Remy and Rogue, who were shivering. "What's the matter with you two?"

"It's COLD!" they shouted in unison and looked terrified to have the same thought as the other.

"Southerners," muttered Logan. "Pathetic."

Numair came in, a large basket of blankets following behind him. He floated it down and went over to continue his discussion with Hank.

Several of the X-men looked as though they were about to speak.

Kel shook her head vehemently. "Don't ask!" She sat down on the stone floor, looking a tad frazzled. "It's not worth it."

The X-men shrugged and broke off into small groups, talking.

(Yes, Di, I know that was a bit humorous but I simply couldn't resist.)


	4. Much ado about George

(An: Ooh Di chappy yay!)

"A word Alanna" Jon called his Champion back who rolled her startling eyes and turned to bow to him.

"My Liege? " She asked, knowing what was coming, it wasn't like Jon to simply accept new comers when rebellion was always a possibility in such a big kingdom.

"You may have wondered why I had such acceptance in letting such...well strange people into my kingdom" Jon said acutely as Alanna smiled.

"I have a faint idea but I want it clarified" She murmured and looked at him.

"Basically, it's obvious these people are strange and have their own brand of magic that I'd like to keep an eye on. They don't know us and we don't know them and if we merely tossed them out of our kingdom or attempted to imprison then we would have our dungeons destroyed or another regent snapping them up for their own uses." Jon finished and waited for her reaction.

"It's a case of keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" Alanna asked and looked at him with a smile.

"More of Keep your friends close and people you're suspicious of closer" Jon nodded and looked at her with his startling eyes.

"Very astute, what do you wish to be done?" Alanna asked, a grin on her face.

"Keep Georges people on them. Maybe your daughter to befriend that one that over used the term "Like", Kitty I think her name was" Jon said with a smile and Alanna nodded.

"She'll be thrilled" At that Alanna turned and strolled out.

-Keladry of Mindelan's Rooms-

"But Kel!" Owen protested as he looked at his friend.

"No Owen, you can't look after them" Kel said tiredly, she had stopped off at her rooms to collect some more blankets for the X men and some candles from the quarter masters. "I mean it, I'll be sleeping near them tonight and you have duties"

"No I don't, I have this quarter free" Owen said and smiled at her.

"Still no" Kel said and walked out as her younger friend dogged her.

"Why do you want to" She murmured, her best Yamani Lump face on as she whirled at his irritating presence.

"Because I want to help and after the jolly war there's not all that much to do for a green knight" Owen said truthfully and then Kel sighed.

"I guess I need someone to stop Neal from killing the blue one" She murmured and nodded as Owen whooped.

(Di chappy-ness! I loved it.. but it was too short and you took too long. -glare- I'll have my chap up soon.. as for why there's only one chapter on EE we can't figure out how to post Di's chappies... they won't take it for some reason.)


	5. Moooore humorousness stuff and shortness

(An: Sorry I was lazy... but then even now I'm -still- faster than Di.. speaking of Di I command all you nutty FFN-ers to go look her up under EE Diamond.. you're a copycat mate! Kidding... don't flick me.. or whatever it is that's your equivalent of poking me.)

Kel wasn't sure as to her sanity right now. She had gone along with this, WILLINGLY!

"But-"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Rogue. There was a rather nasty crunching sound as Remy hit the wall.. hard.

"I t'ing she broke by dose," said Remy, blinking dazedly, his accent weirder than ever.

"Mithros, give me strength," Kel muttered. Her jaw drapped as Alianne came walking in. "And any other gods that might be listening as well, PLEASE."

"Hi, Kel," said Aly, smiling.

Kel groaned and flopped onto the floor.

"Is she all right?" Aly murmered to Neal.

Neal looked her over, looking as though he was trying not to laugh. "She's been doing that all night," Neal informed her with a sage nod.

Aly surveyed the room, hands on her hips. "Not a very promising bunch, are they?" she asked no one in particular.

"Are they new friends?" asked Nawat, strolling in, gazing at the X-men, fascinated.

"Maybe," said Aly.

"By dose!" yelled Remy again as someone nudged him from where he was lying prostrate on the floor.

"Should you investigate that?" asked Aly to Neal.

"It's more fun watching, don't you think?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a healer?"

"It's still more fun watching."

Aly shook her head and approached the ones sitting in the corner. Namely, Sam, Rahne, and Ray, all blinking and looking rather out of it. "Hello," said Aly. She sat down on the floor in front of them, cross-legged. "I'm Alianne."

The three mutants didn't answer. They just blinked and looked rather dazed.

"This is going to be harder than I thought..."

Neal tapped her shoulder. "Perhaps you should try with the lucid ones first," he suggested.

Aly stuck her tongue out at him and stood up. "All right, I will," she said. "IF you go fix him." She pointed at Remy, who was gazing up at the ceiling, his eyes glazed and his nose visibly throbbing.

"Oh all right," said Neal and walked over to him.

Aly turned to someone who seemed a bit more approachable, Kitty. She was happily chatting with Kurt. "Oh, like, hi," she said, looking up when Aly approached.

"My name's Alianne," said Aly, joining them.

"I'm Kitty and this is Kurt," said Kitty, smiling.

"Hi!" said Kurt.

Aly and Kitty got on pretty well. Vapid teenagers were vapid teenagers no matter what time period or dimension you lived in.

Kel, having regained what was left of her composure, walked over to Rogue, who was trying to avoid the ever-hapless Remy, who now could breath through his nose again. "Hello," she said cautiously.

Rogue gave Remy a good hard shove. On the smooth floor he skidded off, bumping like a pinball on the other people. "Oh. Hi. Your name's Keladry right?"

"My friends call me Kel," she offered, trying to get on good terms on the girl who seemed to boss the others around.

"Ah'm just Rogue," replied the other girl with a shrug.

"So why won't he-" Kel pointed at Remy, "-leave you alone?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "No clue. Now, if yah'll excuse me, Ah have ta go kill him."

"You two seem to be getting on well," said Neal. "Same personality and all that."

"Oh, go soak your head," muttered Kel. "Why am I suddenly wishing for a Scanran attack?"

"Because we haven't had a properly jolly fight in weeks?" interjected Owen.

(Ok, I'll admit that wasn't all that long for myself either but I've been -busy- since I got this laptop back... and now it's Di's turn to set the pace.)


	6. Much shapeshifting and madness

(Yes, it'll serve it's lovely. I'll forgive for the shortness since it was fast. Fun fun.)

"QUIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEET"

The cry rang through the chapel as Kel leant against the door, ready to have a nervous breakdown. Rogue looked cool as anything next to her and Neal was being visibly restrained by Owen as Kurt danced in front of him holding Neal's, or rather Yuki's fan and bamfing once Neal got loose.

Basically chaos was raining, well that's what Daine was thinking and she had seen chaos up front. Uasoe had nothing on this lot. She looked at Kitten who sat next to her, eagerly climbing up Remy's leg trying to reach the glowing card that he held to entertain the dragonette.

"Don't let her touch those" Daine remarked to the Cajun who smiled. "Ah woan chere" Remy grinned, his traditional roving eye seeking out a new target. But it quickly averted back to Rogue as Numair returned from his "Interesting" talk with Beast about inter universe transportation. Science v magic.

"Hullo" Numair said cheerfully and slung an arm around Daine who giggled and then cast a slightly angry look at her husband. "Where's Sarri?" She demanded, poking him in the chest.

"I erm... put her down for...a second" Numair said evasively. "I know exactly where she is...she's...she's oh goddess she's on the curtains" Numair pointed and winced at his wife's anger that he could literally feel radiating off her.

"Darling-" He started as they gazed at the half monkey child that was alternately chattering and gargling. "Don't darling me Numair. I hate Shape changing in front of guests. You will pay for this"

Numair winced as his wife, now his wife the golden eagle soared across the room, causing each collective of X Men and Tortallians to shut up and watch her grab her child in her talons and soared back to her place before ducking behind a pillar and making sure she was clothed.

Alianne rushed over, quickly followed by a surprised Kitty and Kurt (since I have to bring them since sky loves Kurtty) and grabbed the baby so Daine could change in ease. "Sarri, hush resume your shape I can't put illusions up for telepaths" She muttered as the child began to change to normal.

"I thought her ma put a ban on her shape changing" Ali frowned and tilted her head as Numair frowned in an equally perplexed measure. "I think she may have evaded the command by half shifting her shape so she still holds her humanity. Clever for a mere chit, escaping a goddess, yes a minor goddess but still a deity's command. "

"I have a headache" Ali said as Daine and Kel, who had just walked over with Rogue all chorused "So do I" They grinned then winced as Rahne tripped over Sam and changed half into wolf form thus causing Sarri to copy her to her parents protests.

"I can't do this" Kel finished.


	7. Asleep! They're all asleep!

(An: Sorry this was so late but I had writer's block and then Di and I had problems communicating.. hope this is worth the wait.)

"They're asleep!" Kel cried, shutting the chamber door behind her. "Thank the gods, they're finally asleep!"

"Shh!" Daine and Numair cried. They had finally gotten Sarra asleep.

"Oh, sorry," said Kel.

"So what are we going to do about them tomorrow?" Owen asked, jogging to keep up with Neal and Kel.

"Let's not think about that, shall we?" said Kel, shuddering. "Today was bad enough."

Alianne walked off, looking for her father.

George stepped out of a room, falling into step beside Aly. "So, what'd you find out?"

"Not much," said Aly. "It was kind of chaotic. The ones that weren't really dazed were causing trouble so there wasn't all that much time to find things out."

"So nothing of worth?"

"Well, the younger redhead is a shape shifter," said Aly. "But that's really about it."

"Are you sure?" George asked sceptically, raising a brow in a gesture that Aly promptly copied.

"I don't make mistakes" she sneered and walked away.

Kel smiled as she walked back to her room. Neal inspected his nails, leaning against her doorway. "I do so love being friends with you. Every day's an adventure."

"Do us all a favor and shut up," Kel replied, the sparrows peeping sleepily in agreement, "or I'll make sure YOU get main watch of our new 'friends' tomorrow."

Neal held up his hands. "All right, all right, no need to be hasty. It was just a comment."

"And comments earn you bruises, haven't you learned that by now?" Neal opened his mouth to respond, but Kel cut him off. "No, don't say anything, or I swear I'll punch you. Now go away so I can get some sleep."

Neal feigned sweeping off a hat and bowing.

"OUT!" Kel shooed him out of her room and slammed the door behind him. She flopped down on her bed, pondering whether it was worth the effort to change into her nightclothes or not. "Oh, gods, that was awful... I hope they figure out a way to send them back to... wherever..."

Jump opened an eye and woofed his agreement.

Kel didn't say anything more; she'd already fallen asleep.

-

In King Jonathan's study, he was still awake, quite by chance, flipping through an old book of spells. (I understand how strict you people are when it comes to canon offences, but I -think- there's spellbooks... if not, so sue me... it's been about six months since I last read the Alanna books.) Thayet leaned in from the bedroom. "Are you coming to bed, or are you planning to let your eyeballs fall out first?" she asked, voice very dry.

"Yes, yes, just a- there we go!" Jon tapped a page.

"What is- never mind," said Thayet, imagining the sleep-depriving discussion that question would undoubtedly cause. "Just come to bed."

Jon marked his page, then stood up. "All right, all right, I'm coming..."

(Damn. It's short too... sorry 'bout that... anyway, Di, I believe I've set it up nicely for ye... if we're still going with my ideas for this... you never quite said yay or nay on that...)


	8. Whiplash?

A/N Di Here, I know I haven't been updating but as I can excuse to Sky I've had mucho exams and thus am very tired. They haven't stopped and won't till July but I've got a two-week break before school starts again so here it is…Chapter 8 of CS!

"Is everyone here?" The calm voice radiated through the room as the quietly chatting members of the kings council- plus a few knights that were more…intimately involved with the problem oh and a few more interesting people who's noble and not so noble persons King Jon just hadn't the heart to turn away.

"Kel isn't," Neal called from his chair as he slouched down so that his conversation with his rather heavily pregnant wife was private and she smiled in response to his calling out.

"Neither is Dom- My cousin who said he'd come," Neal added and laughed at Owen and Alanna's incredulous looks. Perhaps the so-called Yamani lump had softened to someone?

Aly looked up sharply from her position at the end of the table and nearest the door where she had been examining a report of her fathers with Nawat looking eager next to her. "She's coming," she said calmly as Kel and Domitan of Masbolle strolled into the room both red faced yet calm.

"What have you two been doing?" Numair asked slyly from her seat next to his wife as she nudged him sharply with an irritated yelp of "NUMAIR!"

"The blue one…stole…golden…. chalice…. of…Mithros," Kel panted as Dom sat gratefully down and she deposited herself next to him. "We had to track him down through the palace using Bonedancer, you know Lindhall Reed's pet," Dom added as Kel nodded.

"Something must be done about these people," Jon mused as Sir Miles nodded. "Although it would be very interesting to know where they came from the disturbances they're causing and so close to mid winter is just too much."

"The vapid one, Kitty," Aly paused as Nawat stood up and walked out of the room but continued with a puzzled look on her face "She says they're from a place named Bayville in the province of New York. Thought I must confess it took a while to get such information out of her- I've never heard someone ramble on for so long about clothes."

"Numair, is their a spell you could device that would send them back?" Jon asked.

Throwing a look at Alanna Numair nodded then glanced at Neal. "I'll need help though- there's a lot of them and I can't send all those back so easily." Numair then looked thoughtful but said no more despite the questioning look on Jon's face.

"That's settled then- Numair work on that please but now for the matter of keeping them in check for however long Numair needs." Jon's bright eyes, inescapably fell to Kel, Owen, Daine and Dom who all winced.

"I'm sorry to lay such a burden on you all but these people cannot be allowed to run riot through the palace- the ambassador from Tusaine and another from Galla are coming tomorrow with the Copper Isles and Carthak expected within the week," Jon said sadly as the five nodded wearily.

"Keep them in the chapel dear," Thayet said to her husband and those assembled, then with a wicked gleam in her eyes she said "The priests are conservative enough to grumble but smart enough to recognise that these are our …honoured guests" She smiled and those at the table answered her wicked grin.

Nawat then entered, a worried look on his face and he bowed with a small smirk from Aly. At least her lessons on proper behaviour hadn't gone to waste. "My Lieges," he said and bit his lip. "The people are all asleep apart from one… the one with the demon eyes is being held by the priests on count of stealing. They are threatening to take him to the provost and chop his hand off."

With that the meeting quickly disbanded though Numair drew aside the king quickly. "A word Jon," He murmured and Jon nodded.

"There is a small probability of a whip lash in the magic so to speak," He said and Jon looked confused to he continued. "Whatever brought them here did it for a reason- whatever did it may have an expounding area of magic so I'd warn all others to be away from the area at the time."

With that Jon nodded and off the five protectors went to deal with the mess created by Remy.

(Sky's note: Very nice Di, I liked it. Tidy. As of now there are one chapter each for us to write!)


	9. Riiight

(An: Here we go again... -pulls a face- Why do you put me in these situations, Di? Something I've noticed about the Tortall series- these people are like rabbits. Everyone's wife is either pregnant or has six kids. Has anyone noticed that/Rant.)

"I'm tellin' y', it was an ACCIDENT!" Remy yelled, running for his life.

"Oh, so a priceless artifact just FELL into your pocket?" snapped the head of the Mithran priests.

Remy skidded around a corner, narrowly avoiding smacking into the wall. "As a matter of fact, oui! Those things are heavy!"

"STOP!" Kel yelled at the top of her voice.

Everyone obeyed, except Remy, who took the opportunity to get a good headstart.

Panting, Kel explained. "He doesn't know our laws."

Remy stuck his head from around another corner. "I told y'all, it's all big misunderstandin'!"

"I'd keep running if I were you," Neal commented, from behind Kel. "The priests are touchy and if they catch you they'll get the Provost to cut your hand off."

Remy squeaked and took his advice.

"Didn't you hear about our 'guests'?" Kel inquired of the priests, pointedly ignoring Neal.

"You mean the odd people taking up space in our chapel?" the head responded. "Just because they're new here is no reason to steal our artifacts!"

"I DIDN'T STEAL IT!"

"According to His Majesty," Neal put in, "they're our guests. Last I checked, cutting a guest's hand off isn't exactly good conduct."

This made the Mithran priests take pause. The head frowned, and then glared at the knights. "All right, but if anything like this happens again-" He made a throat-cutting gesture. As a collective person, the priests turned on their heels and left.

"Gah!"

"Sounds like Bonedancer found Remy," Neal observed.

Said swamp rat came walking around the corner, trying to pry the skeletal bird from his hair. "What de hell is this thing!" he cried.

"Bonedancer," Kel explained. "Ressurected fossil."

"Ah, oui, I feel so much better knowin' its name... now PLEASE get it out of my hair!"

BACK IN THE CHAPEL

"Please kill him, please kill him, Ah want him outta mah hair, please kill him, he's more trouble than he's worth..." Rogue's litany wasn't very cheerful, true, but it was heartfelt, anyway.

"But if they kill him, who'm I supposed to play poker, get drunk, and have a swordfight with?" Kurt asked, poking her.

"Yeah, and then wake up in the middle of the common room completely naked with him sleeping on your clothes with," Kitty added.

"Hey, that only happened once!"

"Once is definitely enough to scar anybody for life," Logan put in.

"You did it too, once!"

"The group that was in the kitchen will never fully recover from that," Sam put in, twitching a little.

"Hey, Ah'm not complainin'," Rogue replied. She and Kitty were both wearing identical nasty grins.

"I always knew you were disgusting," Sam muttered. "But that's a new low." He went off to be mentally scarred with Rahne.

Just then, Numair, Hank, Alanna, and the King came walking in. "I don't believe I'm doing this," Hank mumbled, going over to sit with the other X-people. "Trusting my life to magic."

"What are they doing, anyway?" Logan asked.

"Apparently, they're doing a spell to send us all home. The only good thing is, they must stave off until they collect our Cajun compatriot. We're gonna die..." And with that Hank attempted to hide beneath the altar.

"Ugh. Alliteration AND a scared genius. We ARE going to die."

And then, right on time, Kel, Neal, and Remy (who had finally gotten Bonedancer out of his hair, and was actually getting along quite well with him) joined them.

"What happened?" Kitty asked, poking Remy.

"It's like I said: a really, big, hand-cutting-off-type misunderstanding," Remy muttered, shoving the offended appendages in his pockets.

"Oh, great," Hank muttered. "Now they can start."

(Woot. One more chappy to go. Fun fun.)


	10. To Touch and Just a Little Accident

(A/N Di here…MERR sorry it's all I've been saying recently. Yes can you believe it! LAST CHAPTER OF CS but never fear CS 2 will be coming to a cine-fan fic near you….hosted by me this time.)

Neal strode over to Kel. He whispered something in her ear.

"But…" Rogue protested as Neal laid a comforting hand on her arm as he smiled in a non- Neal like way. Honestly if anyone he knew was watching and saw him using compassion he'd never hear the end of it.

"I know, you've held on to your comforting little tragedy for all your teenage years and finally I may have a solution and you balk. Now why would that be, Marie?" Neal asked gently as Rogue looked at him with half hatred and half wonder.

"How did ya know mah name?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"You murmur in your sleep. I was on watch duty. Anyway I've seen your unusual predicament and my wife and I have been working on this little spell for days," Neal grinned. "It's a family project, since she's been distracted with the baby she's been grumpy for days," he added with a rueful glance.

"So…you can fix me?" Rogue said tentatively as Neal nodded with a huge smile.

"Yes indeed, your gift can be then activated by will and recall and not via basic human contact" Neal finished and then looked at Rogue who was nodding eagerly.

"Please," she murmured and Neal then walked away, returning with a sheet of parchment and a muttering of words.

"It's in old Carthaki, so you won't understand but it was the only language I could find to bend so to speak to our purpose," Neal explained but Rogue obviously wasn't listening. Because, in the corner where she and Neal sat was in perfect view of a certain Cajun who was discussing stealing with George and Aly.

"So I'll just perform the spell and we'll test it out" Neal finished lamely as he saw his new experiment's interest waning for the prospect of touching Remy. Rogue nodded and with an anti climatic muttering of words there was a definite green flash and Rogue stood as before but with a big beaming smile.

"Now to test it…" Neal said but Rogue waved him off.

"It worked, Ah know it did. But Ah wanna surprise Remy" She murmured and walked off. Neal looked disappointed but shrugged and wandered off to find Yuki so they could set up for the grand 'sending the x men home spell'.

Later...

"So are we all clear on what we are to do?" Numair addressed the people in the hall. "I know the non mages will be wary of what is to happen but you are here to strengthen the circle but not to supply to it." He pointed to the circle in which stood Kel and Dom with Myles and Daine who was technically not Gifted as such.

"Right. We are going to begin by holding hands around out guests," he added as the Tortallans, in which next to Daine's feet was Rikash and Sari who were giggling and poking each other. "Shh, children," Numair added as the X-men who stood in the middle of the circle grinned at one another.

"Now I will say the incantation and the spell will gather around you all and take you home. It's in Yamani so I doubt anyone but Yuki will understand but ah well." Standing in attendance to the spectacle was the King and Queen with Roald and Shinko (also pregnant) because of the safety of the 'royal personage'.

Numair then closed his eyes and began to mutter reverently in Yamani, as the spell progressed and black, green, violet and a touch of amber light gathered around the X men sweat stood out on his forehead. He continued then something began to go wrong…

The light started to encompass the natives as well as the strange X-Men… but as soon as Jon reached out a hand to touch the light it stung him and flung him to the back of the room with a thudding crack.

Then…with a brave flash of white light they were all gone.

All that remained in the temple of Mithros in terms of people was the royals, one of which was unconscious as Thayet looked to the heavens and murmured "Gods help us all..."

(Sky's note: Dun dun duuuun... Once again, I will be writing the first chappy. It shall be called "Culture Shocked" (isn't it just fabulously original?) and under Di's account and out in a day or two.)


End file.
